Why I won't be getting the Rage this Christmas.

Now, I'm nobody's Simon Cowell fan, but I'm starting to think that the latest anti-X Factor/Syco (pronounced as 'Psycho' rather than my choice of 'Sicko', either way it's no win) protest is as predictable as it is tiresome. I'm not exactly bowled over at the prospect of Geordie Joe romping to the Christmas number 1, before the inevitably dull album release and the eventual career on the West End. I even bought into the previous year's Facebook campaign, the one where we were all supposed to go out and buy (actually, sit in and download) Jeff Buckley's version of 'Hallelujah' over the Alexandra Burke version.

But I'm starting to wonder, if there is any time of the year that we should lie down and give in to the crass commercialisation of popular music, then it's Christmas? After all, crass commercialisation is what Christmas has come to be associated with. The charts are likely to be filled with the same Christmas songs that have been doing the rounds for the last however many years. Christmas is the time of the year where people who know nothing about music buy albums for other people who know nothing about music and occasionally not actually from Tesco. Expect the impossibly bland housewives' favourite, Mickey Bubble, or whatever he's called, to be up there in the album charts alongside Lady GaGa and Susan Boyle, an unlikely threesome indeed (in all possible senses of the word). The prospect of the musical puppet McElderry topping the singles chart come the 25th is, in many ways, a perfect microcosm of a society in which we rush round trying to find the latest fad item to hastily wrap for our loved ones on the big day, before being even more hastily discarded/returned with the receipt/consigned to the shed on the 26th.

It is into this melee that the latest Facebook protest has arrived, in the form of Rage Against The Machine's 1992 song 'Killing in the Name', and our supposed purchase thereof. Someone, somewhere has presumably decided this would be incredibly clever to have as a song blaring out of our stereos over Christmas. As a title it is the worst there has been for a Christmas song (as it now is) since The Darkness released one containing 'bells end' in the title (a fact I believe singer Justin Hawkins said he was proud of). More worryingly, the song is dreadful. Seriously dreadful. It is the sort of utter wank that almost certainly influenced the early-noughties rise of nu-metal, and for that reason this song should be left in the vaults of music history and forgotten about.

Championing RATM over Cowell and his charges is exactly the kind of pseudo-edgy thing you'd do if you think rebelling is only buying the Fairtrade chocolate from your local Waitrose. Digging up a song from nearly two decades ago from a hugely successful band and lining their already deep pockets is not, in any way, shape or form, an act of protest - especially given the current bustling, burgeoning and varied UK indie scene producing a stream of great, unheard music (and by indie I mean the plethora of smaller, independent acts likely to be playing your nearest toilet venue and plugging their 7" single on MySpace).

But, say the protesters, it's about Cowell controlling the charts. Yes, he is to some extent, but if the only way to protest is by buying a single specific song which I might not happen to like, thankyouverymuch, then you can keep it. Sorry to say it, but the charts are and will continue dominated by Cowell and the major labels, and have always been. There's little we can do about that, and why would we want to? The charts are not about recognising true talent, they're about who has the biggest marketing budget and can pull a few strings with the radio giants, a two-pronged attack which will inevitably translate into sales. If that is what the protest is against, then I'm sorry, you've lost. Irretrievably so.

So this Christmas, I will be protesting against protesting. That is to say, do nothing at all and just enjoy Christmas for what it is. I invite you to do the same.

Athletics - it's all about the little victories.

Very few will ever get to reach the heights of pulling on the national vest for a major international event. For the rest of us, it's all about those little victories; boosting your profile by scooping up the successes behind the headlines. Here are some handy hints to Officially Make You A Better Athlete (TM):

1. If someone asks for where you are ranked in the country, quote your English ranking instead of your UK one for an instant position hike. You can find out this ranking (and many more) by logging in on the Power of 10 rankings page, or instantly on the TOPS site.

2. Compete in one of many events of varying obscurity. These can be either standard ones like 400m hurdles (of course), steeplechase, pole vault or hammer - mop up those county titles - or non-standard race distances like 300m, 600m or similar. My personal favourite is the 200m hurdles, probably run three or four times a year, followed by the double decathlon (Google it).

3. Race indoors. As a rule of thumb, your UK indoor ranking for a given performance is roughly one order of magnitude better than it would have been had you run the same time outdoors.

4. Why not combine points 2 and 3 and run a rarely-raced distance indoors? National top-ten glory surely awaits.

5. Race in Welsh/Scottish/Irish championships (they're usually open) for a boost to your national champs credentials - and say you've raced in another country as a bonus. Alternatively race in national race-walking/combined events competitions.

6. Race in the above, the Northerns/Southerns/Midlands or major open meetings like the Birmingham Games and UK Cross Challenge races and perhaps draw an international figure for a great start-line (let's face it, not the finish line) photo and a name to drop in the future when you're sat at home eating Pringles and watching the Olympics on telly.