The FIA today (April 1) have announced a new system to decide the outcome of the Formula One World Championship. Essentially, at the end of the season, all drivers will be required to urinate against a wall, with the driver acheiving the greatest height crowned World Champion. The current points system (10 points for the winner down to 1 point for 8th place) will still be in place, but as a sort of seeding system, whereby the number of points accrued determines how close the driver gets to stand to the wall. (See the regulation change below).
In a statement, a spokesperson for the FIA said, 'It has become apparent that with the introduction of KERS [Kinetic Energy Recovery System], the taller - and therefore heavier - drivers have been placed at a disadvantage. This new system will enable those drivers to have a fair shot [quite literally - ed.] at the title'.
In an interview for the BBC, President of Formula One Management (FOM), Bernie Ecclestone said, 'This change will get drivers racing - to the toilet'.
Article 4.01 of the Sporting Regulations:
-After the conclusion of the final race of the season, all drivers must report to parc ferme where they will be lined up in order of points scored in the 2009 Formula One Season.
-They will each attempt to acheive the greatest height possible in urinating against a vertical surface ('the wall').
-Before and after his attempt the driver must report to the weighing-in area, where the car and driver must still weigh over the regulation 605kg in both instances.
-The driver making the greatest height on the wall will be awarded the 2009 Formula One World Driver's Championship.
Reproduced with kind permission of the FIA (Fool In April)
