Confusion Reigns?
When the IAAF brought in the one false start rule in 2003, it brought about a state of confusion and misinformation in domestic athletic events that still, for some godforsaken reason, exists six years down the line. Essentially, UK races, run under UKA rules, still conform to the old two false starts per athlete system, unbeknown to a surprisingly large contingent of spectators, parents, even runners. Typical scenario at any local league meet:
Spectator 1 to Spectator 2: “So what happens now?”
Spectator 2 to Spectator 1: “Oh, so they're all on one false start now. So if any-”
Me (irate): “No, that's not how it works, it's still two false starts each”.
Now the IAAF have introduced the no false start rule for 2010. It hasn't been massively publicized; only to those who either read athletics news sources or have watched the BBC coverage will know of this rule change for IAAF events. So from next year, an even greater state of confusion will exist in British athletics; those who know the brand new 2010 rule, (erroneously) correcting those who only know the 2003 rule who are themselves busy giving out wrong information (as above) and those who know the original (right) rule, correcting everyone who'll listen. What fun.
Qualify the easy way.
How do you get through the rounds of a middle-distance championships? Simple – place well early on, get your heels clicked by an opponent (the more inexperienced the better) and hit the deck quicker than Eduardo on his wedding night. Time and again runners fell in heats or semis of the 800m or 1500m in Berlin and were reinstated into the next round. Janeth Jepkosgei, in the first round of the 800m, had a clear case to be allowed passage, as she was in a clear qualifying position with just over 100m to go when she was tripped.
Bram Som's qualification into the final was less clear cut. How, in a close and competitive semi-final and being tripped on the first lap, could one hope to argue their case for progression? The Dutchman didn't even have the dignity to finish the run, giving his legs a few hundred metres extra freshness going into the final. It gets worse; America's Shannon Rowbury fell in the first heat of the 1500m, and in doing so impeded Briton Charlene Thomas, who lost a shoe in the process. Thomas still went on to beat Rowbury in the race, but only the Americans protested, and their charge was duly promoted to the semis.
BBC Fail...
I have final proof of institutional racism occurring within the BBC. Honest. During the coverage of the recent World Championships, the studio team conducted their presentations with, as appears to be de rigeur these days, those vaguely flesh-coloured microphone/headset devices protruding down the side of their faces. At least, I think so, since of course they magically disappear when they are put on – I mean, you can't see them at all, such is the excellence of the disguise at work. Unfortunately for the BBC, all three panelists – Colin Jackson, Michael Johnson and Denise Lewis – are – in – actual – fact – black, rendering the single reason for wearing such a device completely and utterly pointless.
Tennis
Andy Murray got in, then got out in the US Open, although of course nobody cares. The football season's started by now, and in any case it isn't Wimbledon, so it's not a proper competition anyway. As we all know, the British public are, when it comes to tennis, by and large quite useless. Most wouldn't know their Challenger tournaments from their Masters Series, their Ferreira from their Ferrero, their Mardy Fish from, from...well God knows, really. Come off it, that's not a real name.
I digress somewhat. While your average bloke down the pub is well aware of the week-to-week ramifications of three points here, goal difference there, the workings of the 52-week rolling ATP World Rankings system is not likely to figure on his sporting radar. Of course, this mug here is the one likely to be sat at a computer, match live score ticking in the background, thinking, 'right, so Murray's defending this many points, so he needs at least a quarter final to...' and so on.
“What, they have 52-week rankings?” says the man down the pub. “You mean to say that tennis is played at other times of the year other than June? Jeez, I thought it was just something they put on telly when the footy's not on. Of course, there's a major tournament every two years, and England usually get there, and at least to the knockout stages, so I probably won't be watching tennis then anyway”.
“Well-” I reply.
“And another thing”, the hypothetical bloke would continue, were he real, “That bloody Murray, banging on and on and bloody on about bloody Scotland, and how he hates England and hopes England lose, well I'll be supporting anyone but him from now on. Who's he playing?”
“Ernest Gulbis. Of Latvia.”
“Right, let me see. I'm sure there's a Latvian flag around here somewhere. Come on Gulliver – er, what's his name again?”
Actually, I did overhear once and old woman talking on the bus, around Wimbledon time, saying how she won't be supporting Murray because of the Davis Cup and how he never plays in it. She's much rather root for Federer. Because he always plays Davis Cup ties. Plans his season round them, he does.
Is there a British sportsperson who polarises opinion like Andy Murray? I'd like to know...
Cycling
Brit-watch
Sky (the television company) have a reputation of splashing the cash, coming in and buying up all the big names from all sources. In a neat parallel, it seems that the new pro cycling squad to whom they have given their name are up to the same business. Hopefully they will actually get (as it is expected they will) the ProTour licence to justify the big money. Otherwise they will end up mirroring the other character trait of Sky TV – all the names, but no-one gets to see them.
Finally, at 31, Russell Downing (pictured above) gets his shot at the big time, after putting away the Continental pros in the Tour of Ireland (including Lance Armstrong, who took one look at St Patrick's Hill through the rain in Cork and thought 'Bugger that for a game of soldiers'). Although Sky should sign up Downing's current teammate Malcolm Elliott, just for a laugh if nothing else. At 48 he makes Armstrong look like Robbie McEwan's son (who he called Ewan, the plonker). He's still sprinting with the rest, recording top 10 stage finishes in this week's Tour of Britain against guys practically young enough to be his sons.
Also, I'm surprised no-one's mentioned Kristian House to move Sky-wards (sorry). Surely a British squad would want to have the British road race champion in the peloton, if only for the opportunity to show off the national champion's jersey with Sky motifs? There is of course, one other British Champion, Bradley Wiggins (who earned his winner's jersey in the recent national time trial champs) who has been under constant speculation of a move to Sky. He has repeatedly and categorically denied any such move on his Twitter page; I can only hope for his sake he's staying put at Garmin, otherwise after comments such as these gems below, @bradwiggins will be up for a serious climbdown:
“A huge anti-climax is heading the press's way, such a shame, for the sake of being just not stirring the shit, oh look the Vuelta's on!”
“@cyclingweekly, please stop stirring the shit pile, it was a black TEAM GARMIN hoodie, cheers”
“Twitpic is for CW benefit, Team Garmin rule woopty bloody doo!”
Football
The last day of the football transfer window is one of frantic activity; some managers going on the offensive, looking for that final signing to complete the jigsaw, others trying to fend off other teams with everything they can, up to and including using sticks to beat away opposing managers looking to prise away their star player.
So who do my Burnley side go and sign? David Nugent. As a reasonably prolific striker for Lancashire rivals Preston, no man has been subjected to more abuse at Turf Moor this century than the England international (in the loosest possible sense – came on as a substitute in a friendly and poached a goal literally on the line). I'm prepared to wager that half of the Longside will still want to chant, 'Same old Nugent, always cheating' the first time he tries to win us a penalty.
And Finally...
Sporting Masterclasses Not Coming Soon To BBC Sport:
Make The Most Of Your Powerplays With Andrew Strauss
How To Dip Effectively With The GB Middle Distance Women
Grab Your Opportunity With Luca Badoer
...any more?
Epic Historic Sporting Fail
Lindsay Jacobellis loses the gold in the 2006 Winter Olympics Snowboard Cross in style...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gPCOin3l8OY
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